What's an alpha male? To find out, I put one in the hot seat!

I posted a picture on my Facebook page today and the women went wild! So did a few men as a matter of fact. The picture is below because I know you're curious. LOL.

The man is sexy and his salt and pepper hair is the perfect balance for his handsome looks. I write stories with alpha males all the time but it wasn't until a good friend of mines and I were chatting about alpha males that I got a fresh new perspective on who and what an alpha male was.









His insights were so refreshing and on point,  I decided to do something I've never done before, I decided to interview a man on the topic of being an alpha male.
His name is Kenny Young, he's Scottish, a business man and philanthropist who's doing great work over in Kenya. He's smart, funny and a go getter, in short, he's an alpha male. So, lets here what Kenny has to say on the topic of the alpha male.

What is an alpha male to you?

There is a popular misconception about an alpha male that’s he’s the loudest of the bunch, maybe a bully; this is perpetrated by the concept of animals where the alpha is the best warrior. It’s not so in humans. The alpha is the man who influences, not the bully. The leader, not necessarily the best fighter but the one the others look to for guidance and leadership. They tend to be intelligent, funny, super confident and are very attractive to women, especially intelligent women. Look at the romance and erotic romance sections in book shops; they are filled with female lawyers and accountants. The books portray the alpha men and they are intrigued.

What type of women are alpha males attracted to?

Most people are attracted to their own images. He will be most attracted to intelligent leaders, influential career women, and strong women.

What turns an alpha male on?

Shared power.

What turns him off?

Beauty without brains. Dumb women with nothing to say will bore him rigid. She doesn't need to know business or politics or current affairs or medicine, but she does need to be passionate about something.

Fill in the blank I’d rather have a woman who?

Is herself than tries to be something she’s not

What motivates you in business and pleasure?

Being number one is more important than the money though the money comes with being number one. I'm also motivated by giving back. When my time comes if I die outrageously wealthy I will have failed. I earn it to give me a good life but more importantly to give back.

How do you spoil your women?

When I cook for her it usually goes well. My signature dish is risotto. I will probably have some champagne chilling, then a fabulous red for later with dark chocolate. The music will be fine, the chat and the laughs. I can go buy her a Gucci handbag but the pleasure is fleeting. There's more love in the home cooked meal. Some serious kissing and massage might follow and we will take it from there.

Finish this sentence...

I love when a women… is respectful, honest, loyal, affectionate and harmonious. Argumentative and confrontational women wont last a full date. Stupid, arrogant, haters, smokers wont make the end of the first hour before they need to leave. 
                                                                          ***

I love it!!! so now you at least have some insight into one alpha male. I think I'm going to start calling him Hennessy ,because he's so smooth and potent...risotto! What time is dinner?? LOL!!

When I look at all of the men I know who I would consider Alpha males, they're not the loud, brash men, They're the thinkers, the men who you can trust because they have a natural authority about them. They are planners. They can be arrogant at times, but they do it with a smile, it's just their confidence. You don't know why you're attracted to them, you just are!!


Thanks for taking the time to be on my blog Kenny Young. Keep doing what you do. 
**(Whispering)** Ladies, did I mention that Kenny  dates black women exclusively and is currently single 
After this interview, I have a feeling he won't be that way for long LOL ! 

~Gynger Fyer ~The Romance Arsonist

Absence makes the heart grow fonder...it's TRUE!!

When was the last time you cut off  your cell phone, backed away from the computer, didn't check your e-mails, or Facebook. or twitter, or Pinterest, or Blogger, or Tumblr. or Instagram or Linked In, or Youtube...ARRRGGGHHHH!!! my mind can't stop spinning with the endless ways in which we communicate and connect with each other and how cheap  and meaningless our interactions have become because of it.

 Besides face to face interactions, I remember when letter writing and a home phone were the
only methods of communication we had, and I had to fight my two sisters just to get a chance to talk to my friends on the phone. LOL
 There was only one phone line and if someone was on it, the phone would ring busy to anyone else trying to call in. It was a real upgrade just to get call waiting, not to mention the celebration we had when three way calling was introduced. If a person called you and you were not at home, you missed the call. PERIOD. You couldn't stay on the phone for hours at a time in my parents house, unless it was late at night and you were sneaking to talk to someone because you definitely were not calling my parents house after 10:00 pm to talk to anybody, unless you wanted to get good and cursed out. My parents saw calls after 10:00 as being disrespectful.(My how things have chan We were not so accessible. Interactions were about quality not quantity because our method of communication was limited, and so was our time.


Economic principle tells us that the scarcer a good, commodity, resource or service, the higher the price for that good, commodity, resource or service. Which got me thinking about that principle as it relates to the many, many ways in which we communicate. It didn't really start off that way. It really just happened organically. I'd started to Facebook, Pinterest, and Blog more then I was writing. My sister finally gave me an ultimatum. Either I get off of social media and finish my book or she was going to start releasing embarrassing information about me on said social media outlets. And trust me, she WILL do it. (That's the thing about family, they know where all of your skeletons are buried.) LOL.

So, I did it. I logged out of Facebook and all of the other social media sites which send me automatic updates on my cell phone and I sat down and started writing. At first it was difficult. I kept thinking, I'm missing something, someone is saying something funny and I want to join in. Then as weeks passed by, I started writing more and more. Idea's started coming to me and the lure of being accessible to people wore off. It felt good not to have to RESPOND or REPLY. I posted a check-in post every now and then but that was it.
That's when I started thinking about quality verses quantity in ALL area's of my life. There are things that I cheerfully and faithfully wait for because it's scarce and I tend to value and enjoy them more because of it.

2. Sade CD's

Here's my short list:



1. Girl Scout Cookies

3.Historical romance novel by my favorite writers.(this one is one of my favorites)

Here are some things I think need to be scarcer so I can appreciate them more

1. Social media usage-I love showing and telling people the things I do but somethings I think God just intends for us to experience certain events in our lives without photographing it to death and posting it some where for comment. I think we miss out on truly meaningful experiences because we are more concerned with trying to capture tit on camera or on video. Why not capture them with your mind so you can have memories for yourself.

2. Cell phone/email access-No one should ever have 100% access to a person 24 hours a day, even if you came out of their vagina.(IJS) I don't know about you but, I think it becomes a power  trip(conscious or unconscious) for some people to be able to speak with you when they want to. People start to think your time is theirs. They start to think your life revolves around them and when you don't answer, they resent you or question you.

3. Vibrator usage (Don't ask) LOL I think that ones pretty self explanatory.

So tell me, what's on YOUR list ??? What would you like to see LESS of, so you can appreciate it MORE??

Good Reads!

It's September and already fall is in the air. Besides writing, I LOVE to read and it seems the best stories are released in the fall. YESSSSS!!  Here are a few which have been recently released by some of my favorite authors and friends!

A Lesson in Trust [EBOOK]

Buy Now: http://beautifultroublepublishing.com

Overview:
Raine loves her husband with her heart, yet after ten years of marriage, she still can’t seem to trust him. Richard would walk to the ends of the earth and back for his wife, but having him followed by a private investigator was the last damn straw. To gain his wife’s trust, Richard resorts to a new measure.

A Life Sublime [EBOOK]

Buy Now: http://beautifultroublepublishing.com

Overview:

Belinda Afriyie is only in the Neapolitan Riviera for the wedding of her best friend’s daughter, never mind the fact that she bullied her way into it, mostly out of guilt for not being the mother figure that she should have been. At the very least, she had to make sure that Gina Robinson did her Ghanaian duty in marrying Nick Da Canaveze, even if Belinda had to get on a plane, pay excess baggage and suffer the heat for it. There would be no time for sightseeing, lounging around infinity pools and definitely no time for flirting with anyone. Especially not The Big Man, who was as troublesome as his son. The twinkle in Massimo Da Canaveze’s eyes told her that he was more than just trouble. He was a huge, fat God-like sign of what was missing from her life. Of just how glorious life could be with someone like him in it... But a man like him would never give her a side glance. It was fine. The wedding celebrations would last all of four days and she’d be off home. No looking. No touching. No flirting. None of that was good for her or her ego.

Rock my World

Erotic Poetry Collection,Volume 1

by Don Abdul

I am totally loving this book of poetry by Don Abdul. I'm pretty much used to his steamy, erotic novels but, I have to say, I've also been blown away by his poems.  My favorite one is below:

That One Moment

~~~~

T’was a rare moment in time

When our charisma did click and rhyme

You quiet, even shy

I, enamoured and wondering why

I hardly knew you, yet I felt like that

The essence of you cut right through to my heart

We talked a little; we communicated a whole lot more

I connected with you than I ever did before

At that brief moment in time

Evergreen forever, regardless of season or clime

One little spontaneous eye contact

The warm glow within, of such huge impact

My heart skipped a beat

Stirring my loins amidst rising heat

I saw in your eyes kindred spirit

So exciting, I could hardly believe it

I saw a woman erotically alive

One who did my passions and intellect revive

I saw these in that one moment, and then the rest of you

The fullness of your bosom and your roundness behind

A patient lover’s due

The beauty of your lips, your smile, and your eyes so kind

My heart rejoiced, at a woman inside and out so fine

And I prayed that you would be mine.

BUY NOW: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00F1JWU6M/ref=as_li_tf_tl?tag=draft2-20

Now do you see why I love the fall so much! There is nothing better then curling up with a good book in the fall.  I hope these three books whet your appetite for hot romance and erotic poetry. If not, you might want to make sure you still have a pulse LOL!!

Happy Reading!

Gynger Fyer

Interracial dating and marriage with a PLUS SIZE twist

courtesy of http://www.femininefunk.com/

As a beautiful,  thick and curvy black woman whoes been a participant in interracial dating, I've been asked one question by a lot of my friends who are contemplating giving dating a twirl in the swirl world. 

DO WHITE MEN DATE PLUS SIZE WOMEN???

courtesy of http://boards.weddingbee.com

My reply is...HELL YEAH!!!

Here is the thing that is often overlooked about white men. They are MEN! They don't come from other planets. They like hips and thighs just as much as the next man. Yes, I know, most often you see pictures of interracial couples featuring slender or super fit black women and white man. You don't often see plus size black women and white men. However, don't give up hope. I've searched high and low to come up with evidence that this pairing is not  as uncommon as  you might think.

Check out my Pinterest page to see these and many, many more beautiful swirling couples: http://www.pinterest.com/gyngerfyer/swirl-lve/

So, I bet your saying: now that I know they like thick chicks, how can I meet these guys?? Ever tried online dating? (WAIT!! HEAR ME OUT )  Yes, I know online dating has it's drawbacks, however, it's like shopping at  Marshalls, Ross or T.J. Max, if you sift through the really cheap crap, you can make some really nice finds. If you're interested in meeting men who are attracted to plus sized women, try looking up dating sites just for plus size women and the men who can't get enough of them. I have personally been on a few BBW dating sites and although I didn't find my Mr. Right. I did meet a few nice guys who are now good friends of mine. At the time I was fairly new to interracial dating so I was amazed at the number of white men who contacted me. I was further surprised a few times when I was rejected by guys for not being big enough!!. Apparently there are men who want super sized big beautiful women(SSBBW). Now I am not one to judge, however, I have to question a guy who wants his woman to be nearly bed ridden by her weight. There are men called "Feeders", all they want to do is feed their women so that they stay overweight. I have a problem with that. It's just an unhealthy behavior.
So my suggestion, if you are a plus sized lady looking to date interracially, try online dating to get your feet wet, but use common sense.

If the idea of dating someone online seems overwhelming, try locating a interracial Meetup group in your area. If you can't find one, try starting your own, you might be surprised at how many people are  just waiting for that type of group in your area. 

If you build it, they will come!

Another great way to meet people is on Facebook. There are a lot of interracial group on Facebook. Now some have more quality people than others, however, I say different strokes for different folks. If you're interested in something long term, look for a group with that type of environment. If you want a weekend fling there are groups for that too. Make sure you conduct yourself responsibly, and keep your guard up and your eyes open until you feel comfortable with the guy. 

DISCLAIMER***I love technology. however, places such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and online dating sites often embolden perverts, haters and racist.  All of those sites have "block" features. Use them!! 

If you like a more face to face approach, try getting out and volunteering. You will meet like minded individuals while providing help to people who need it. Find something you're passionate about and go support it with your time and efforts. You might be surprised at who you might find.

Also, Google is great for finding things which are hidden. There are BBW clubs, and events all over the place such as http://www.bbwdistrict.com/ I found this site just by Googleing "BBW Events"

I close this blog out with this last bit of insight. In my search, I have found copious amounts of evidence that not only do white men date plus size black women, they also fall in love and marry them too!! So what are you waiting for! You could be married by now. LOL 

Seriously, happy hunting ladies and good luck finding your mate!

~Gynger Fyer-The Romance Arsonist!