Monday, May 6, 2013

Happy Masturbation Month!!!

I love that we have entire months dedicated to certain events and causes! Breast Cancer Awareness, Autism Awareness, AIDS Awareness,  Financial planning, Black history, Hispanic heritage. The list goes on and on. Imagine my surprise and delight when I found out about... MASTURBATION MONTH!

I've been personally masturbating for decades and never knew it had it's own month!  I'm have to say, I'm impressed.  I'm at ease with sex and my body so masturbating is a fun and easy topic for me to discuss. However, I have come across women who say they can't or won't masturbate under any circumstances. They don't even like to discuss the topic let alone do it. (Ironically, I haven't met any men with that hang up LOL.) They don't believe in using toys either. For them it's just plan ole sex or nothing at all. Yes, plain old sex can be really good too, but there's something to be said for having variety in ones sex life. I've asked why and  received reasons which range from, "it's dirty" to "it's a sin"

 I can respect another's opinion and preferences. I could even see how a person especially a woman may not feel comfortable doing it. As much as we like to think we have such an open society, sex is still taboo, and in some cultures and places, it's just not appropriate for a woman to please her self sexually without a man. Hell, in some RELATIONSHIPS, it's taboo. Women take care of everyone else but it's up to their men to take care of their needs and if a woman masturbates it's basically telling her man he can't take care of her. (Say what?) Yes,  I've heard that argument, I've heard of couples fighting over their partners enjoyment of masturbation. As if it means they don't love them or that they're a poor lover. This comes from women who don't like their MEN to masturbate!!! So it goes both ways. I don't think either argument is valid. Noble in some cases, but misguided if you ask me. No one should always be in complete control of another persons pleasure sexual or other wise, it puts you at the mercy of someone else. So you can't be fulfilled unless they are in the mood to make that happen. That's not good. Masturbation makes a person aware of their bodies, if you don't know what gets you off, how can you tell your mate how to please you. We are not all the same. What worked with one sexual partner will not automatically work with the next. So everyone needs to know what gives them sexual pleasure. Let's face it, sometimes you can come easier and quicker by doing it yourself. 

Don't get me wrong, I think couples masturbation is also sexy. The only thing better than bringing yourself to orgasm is having someone who's head over heels in love with you helping you do it...with no strings attached. I have personally never heard of a guy helping his lady to masturbate and then just kissing her good night or vice versa. Wouldn't that be an amazingly selfless gift to give to your mate this month. No expectations, just focusing on them and their needs. How awesome would that be. I think it would actually  shock a lot of people if someone did that. It's human nature to want to give back when we receive help from another person. It's difficult to just ACCEPT. Try it and see what happens. (Don't forget to let me know how your partner handles it.)

To me the body is beautiful. Being able to bring yourself to pleasure is the ultimate gift a person to give themselves.When you masturbate, you're concentrating SOLELY on your own needs.  When was the last time you did that? When was the last time you focused on yourself instead of others? It's not about your partner, it's about you. Lets face it, it feels hella good! You can let your mind go and explore all of those naughty things you are not supposed to enjoy. You can be as adventurous as you like. There are no sexual limits. Now that's powerful.

Sure, you may never get the opportunity to tie Robert Downey Jr. to an antique, Victorian style bed in real life. You won't ever be able to unbutton his black slacks and peel them off of his lower torso using  just your teeth. And you probably will never know how it feels to straddle his waist and have him to suck your nipples as you ride him into the sunset. (Whew!)  But! you sure could create that interlude in your mind and ride him seven ways to Sunday for the next 30 days!!


It's all about Y.O.U!! so take this month and treat yourself.  If you haven't tried it,  I encourage you to do it. Go on, touch yourself. You never know, you might like it.